Stubborn potty trainers can feel like a never-ending journey, especially when you’re dealing with a stubborn toddler who’s not quite ready to give up those diapers. As a working mom with two little girls, I thought I had everything figured out. I was prepared for the potty training process to take time, but nothing could have prepared me for the challenges that came with my stubborn child’s refusal to fully commit to the potty training journey. Each time I thought we had made progress, I was met with resistance. Despite trying different potty training methods—like training pants for convenience and a sticker chart for encouragement—there were days when it felt like we were going in circles. I had to remind myself that this was all part of the process, even if the potty training blues tried to get the best of me.
By the way before I get in to it, I read the Oh Crap! Potty Training book. Grab your copy here:
*This post includes affiliate links, which means if you make a purchase through one of these links, I earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. This helps me keep providing high-quality content on this site for free. Rest assured, I only recommend products that I would personally use and believe will be helpful for my readers.
Potty training for toddlers can feel like a never-ending journey, especially when you’re dealing with a stubborn toddler who’s not quite ready to give up those diapers. As a working mom with two little girls, I thought I had everything figured out. I was prepared for the potty training process to take time, but nothing could have prepared me for the challenges that came with my stubborn child’s refusal to fully commit to the potty training journey. Each time I thought we had made progress, I was met with resistance. Despite trying different potty training methods—like training pants for convenience and a sticker chart for encouragement—there were days when it felt like we were going in circles. I had to remind myself that this was all part of the process, even if the potty training blues tried to get the best of me.
One of the hardest parts about potty training a stubborn toddler is staying consistent, especially when the accidents seem endless. It’s easy to get frustrated, but I had to remind myself that the potty training stage is all about learning—and that includes learning from mistakes. The key was to keep the mood light and the potty time fun, rather than turning it into a power struggle. After all, toddlers are stubborn by nature, and sometimes they need a little extra time to recognize their body’s cues. To help reduce accidents, I stuck with a 90-minute interval routine at first. This helped establish a sense of routine and made it easier for my little ones to track their progress. Even when things didn’t go perfectly, I reminded myself that potty training was a journey, not a race.
Eventually, I discovered that staying patient and using positive reinforcement was my secret weapon. Every time my daughter went potty, I celebrated like it was the first day of potty training, no matter how many times we’d been through it before. I found that consistency, rewards, and being patient were all essential parts of the potty training process. And sure, it wasn’t always smooth sailing, but eventually, my stubborn toddler got the hang of it. It wasn’t because I forced the issue, but because I gave her space to get comfortable with the idea of using the potty. What helped the most was not rushing her, sticking to my potty training tips, and remembering that it’s okay to have setbacks—what matters is the long-term success of making healthy potty habits.
17 Quick Tips for Stubborn Potty Trainers: A Mom’s Guide to Success
As a mom of two little girls who’ve each had their own journey through potty training, I’ve learned a lot of valuable lessons. Potty training can be a rollercoaster of emotions, especially when you’re dealing with a stubborn potty trainer. If you’re a parent like me, you’ve probably faced a lot of resistance from your little one when it comes to using the potty. Whether it’s refusal to sit on the potty or just flat-out ignoring the process, stubborn potty trainers can make you feel like you’re never going to get there. But don’t worry, I’m here to share my quick tips to help turn those frustrating moments into steps toward success. Trust me, you’re not alone, and with these tips, you’ll be well on your way to a successful potty training experience.
1. Start with Patience
The most important lesson I’ve learned throughout both of my daughters’ potty training journeys is to start with patience. Potty training is a big change, and it’s not unusual for kids to resist. When your child is being particularly stubborn, remember to take a step back, breathe, and remind yourself that this is a process, not a race. You’ll both get there, just in your own time.
2. The 10-Minute Rule: Don’t Wait for Accidents
The 10-minute rule has been a lifesaver in my house. It’s a simple, yet highly effective, way to make sure your child is consistently visiting the potty throughout the day. I’d take my girls to the potty every 10-15 minutes, especially in the early stages of training. The idea behind this rule is to prevent accidents while also helping your child get into the habit of using the potty regularly. It worked wonders for both of my girls, who at first didn’t even recognize the sensation of needing to go. It’s a great way to avoid unnecessary accidents, especially when you’re dealing with a stubborn potty trainer.
3. Try a Potty Training Watch
Potty training can be overwhelming, especially for kids who are reluctant to go. A potty training watch can be a game-changer for stubborn potty trainers. I’ve used the Kidnovations Premium Potty Training Watch, which helped my girls understand when it was time to go. This handy tool features a countdown timer, a vibration feature, and a waterproof design, which makes it both practical and fun. Plus, my daughters loved the bright colors and the idea of having a special watch that reminds them to go potty. It turned into something exciting rather than a chore!
4. Offer Fun and Positive Reinforcement
Kids love to feel good about their accomplishments, and potty training is no exception. When my girls started having success with using the potty, I immediately introduced a sticker chart to track their progress. Every time they went potty, they got to place a sticker on their chart. It made the process feel more like a fun game than a task, and they were excited to keep going. Other positive reinforcement ideas include small treats or extra playtime. If you’re dealing with a stubborn potty trainer, remember that positive reinforcement can go a long way.
5. Use a Potty Training Chair for Comfort
One mistake I made early on was jumping straight to the toilet. For some kids, a potty chair is a much more inviting option. My girls were a bit hesitant to use the toilet at first, so I invested in a colorful, comfortable little potty. Having a potty that’s their size and something they feel comfortable on can help eliminate any resistance. Plus, the more they associate using the potty with something familiar and safe, the less intimidating it becomes.
6. Make Potty Time a Fun Routine
Consistency is key when it comes to potty training, but don’t forget to make it fun! With my stubborn potty trainers, I turned potty time into a playful experience. I’d sing potty songs, play with potty training apps, or tell fun stories while they were on the potty. Making potty time enjoyable helps reduce any anxiety your child might have, which in turn makes them more likely to try.
7. Let Them Pick Their Own Potty Gear
I learned early on that if I let my girls have a say in the potty training process, they were much more excited about it. Whether it was choosing their training pants, picking out underwear with their favorite characters, or even selecting a fun step stool for the bathroom, giving them a sense of control helped reduce resistance. Letting them feel like they have ownership in the process encourages them to be more engaged.
8. Take a Break if Needed
Sometimes, a little break is all that’s needed when you’re dealing with a stubborn potty trainer. If things are getting too stressful or your child is becoming increasingly resistant, it may be time to take a short break. Giving your child some space to relax and regroup can help reduce potty training stress and give both of you a fresh start. You can try again in a few weeks or even a couple of months—no need to rush!
9. Stay Calm During Accidents
Accidents are inevitable, but how you handle them can make a huge difference. When accidents happen, stay calm and avoid getting upset. Yelling or shaming your child can make the process feel more negative and make your child even more resistant. Simply clean up the mess, remind them that accidents happen, and encourage them to try again next time.
10. Make Potty Training a Family Affair
When one of my girls was being particularly stubborn about potty training, I enlisted the help of the whole family. We’d all celebrate her successes together, and even her older sister would offer praise and encouragement. Sometimes, having the support of siblings or extended family members can make potty training feel like a team effort, which can motivate your child to keep trying.
11. Limit Fluid Intake Before Bedtime
Nighttime potty training can be a challenge, especially with a stubborn potty trainer. One thing that helped my girls get the hang of it was reducing their fluid intake before bedtime. This made nighttime accidents less likely, and it also helped my children understand the connection between bladder control and potty breaks.
12. Use Potty Time to Establish a Routine
Routine is crucial when potty training. I found that setting up specific times for potty breaks—such as after meals, before bed, and upon waking—helped my kids understand when they needed to use the potty. Even if they didn’t have to go right away, the routine helped them get into the habit of using the potty at certain times during the day. This made potty training less overwhelming for my stubborn potty trainers.
13. Know When to Move from Training Pants to Underwear
At some point, your child will be ready to move from training pants to big kid underwear. For stubborn potty trainers, this transition might be harder than expected. I found that the key was gradual progression. I’d start by using training pants during the day and gradually work toward using underwear more frequently until my girls were comfortable in them all day long.
14. Don’t Compare Your Child to Others
Every child is different, and potty training is no exception. Just because your neighbor’s child is potty trained at two years old doesn’t mean your child should be too. Potty training success happens at different rates, and comparing your child to others will only add stress to the process. Stay patient, and trust that your child will get there when they’re ready.
15. Stay Consistent Even on the Go
When you’re dealing with a stubborn potty trainer, it’s important to stay consistent even when you’re away from home. I always made sure to pack a potty training kit when we went out, which included extra underwear, wipes, and a portable potty. This way, I was prepared to handle any potty emergency while out and about, which also kept the process consistent for my daughters.
16. Be Supportive and Encouraging, Not Pushy
The key to potty training is encouragement, not pressure. I made sure not to push my girls too hard when they weren’t ready to use the potty. Instead, I’d stay supportive and encourage them with a gentle approach. Praise every small step, even if they just sit on the potty or try once. This support helps create a positive environment around potty training.
17. Remember That It’s a Journey, Not a Destination
Potty training, especially with a stubborn child, takes time. Sometimes, things don’t go as planned, and that’s okay. With patience, consistency, and encouragement, your child will eventually be potty trained. Trust the process, and celebrate each step along the way.
FAQ: Potty Training Tips for Stubborn Toddlers
How do you potty train an unwilling toddler?
Potty training an unwilling toddler can be tough, but with patience and consistency, it is definitely achievable. The key is to make the potty training process as fun and stress-free as possible. Start by introducing the potty in a non-threatening way, like using a potty training method that aligns with your child’s interests—whether that’s fun books, songs, or characters. Set up a routine with time intervals, like taking your toddler to the potty every 30 to 60 minutes, as suggested by the American Academy of Pediatrics. A potty training timer can be a great help to remind you when it’s time for a potty break. If your toddler resists, try not to pressure them, but instead offer praise for even the smallest efforts, and keep the mood light and playful.
How do you potty train a child who refuses?
If your child is refusing to potty train, don’t panic! Many toddlers go through phases where they resist potty training. It’s important to understand the amount of time it may take for your child to feel fully ready. Some children simply need more time to adjust to the idea of toilet training. At first, you may want to use training pants for easier clean-ups, while you introduce the potty training method that works best for them. A consistent routine with regular potty breaks at time intervals will help them get comfortable with the process. If your toddler refuses, back off for a while, but be sure to track of your child’s progress and encourage small steps without force.
Is it normal for a 3-year-old not to be potty trained?
Yes, it is completely normal for a 3-year-old not to be potty trained. Every child develops at their own pace, and some may take longer to be ready. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, most children begin to show signs of readiness between 18 and 30 months, but there’s a wide range of typical development. Don’t worry if your child isn’t potty trained by 3—some children just need a little more time to get comfortable with the idea of using the potty. The key is recognizing when your child is showing signs that they’re ready to start the potty training journey, like staying dry for longer periods or expressing interest in the toilet.
Why is my toddler so hard to potty train?
There are a variety of reasons why a toddler might be hard to potty train. Some children are simply more resistant to change, while others may be dealing with anxiety around using the toilet or fear of accidents. The potty training process can also be influenced by your child’s temperament or developmental stage. It’s important to remember that every child is different, and what works for one may not work for another. Staying patient and flexible with your potty training method is key. Using positive reinforcement, making potty time fun, and gradually introducing potty breaks at regular time intervals can help alleviate some of the resistance. If your toddler struggles, consider using tools like a potty training timer to help build a consistent routine.
What not to say when potty training?
When potty training, it’s important to avoid negative language or pressure. For instance, don’t tell your child “You’re a big kid now, you should know how to do this.” Negative reinforcement can lead to anxiety or resistance. Also, avoid comparing your child’s progress to others, as this can create unnecessary stress. Instead, focus on celebrating small victories and offering plenty of positive reinforcement. Make potty training a fun and enjoyable experience—use rewards like stickers on a sticker chart or small incentives to keep them motivated.
What is the 3-day potty training method?
The 3-day potty training method is an intensive approach where you dedicate three days to focusing exclusively on potty training your child. The idea is to introduce the potty as soon as your child wakes up and have them go without diapers or training pants for three full days. While this method can be effective for some children, it’s important to understand that it might not be the right approach for every child. Some parents find it helpful to combine this method with a more gradual approach. Time intervals between potty breaks are important here, as the child learns to recognize when they need to go. Using a potty training timer can also help you keep track of those intervals and provide consistent reinforcement. If your child resists or struggles during this method, don’t stress—just try again when they seem more ready.
In conclusion, the potty training journey has definitely been one of the most important activities I’ve experienced as a parent. It felt like such a big deal at the time, and I knew there was a lot of hard work ahead—practice runs, accidents, and those days when progress seemed so slow. But looking back now, every little victory was worth celebrating. I had to remind myself that the challenges of potty training are just part of the process, and I had to be patient with both my girls and myself. Yes, we had our rough moments, but with consistency and a lot of love, they eventually got the hang of it. The toilet seat that once seemed so intimidating is now something they use with confidence. And the best part? Watching them grow and feel proud of themselves. It wasn’t just about getting them to sit on the potty; it was about helping them develop a skill that they’ll carry with them forever. At the end of the day, potty training is more than just a task—it’s a milestone, and I’m so proud of how we worked through it together.
Potty training can be challenging, especially when you’re dealing with a stubborn potty trainer, but with the right strategies and a positive attitude, you’ll get through it. Every child is different, so it’s important to find what works best for your little one. Whether it’s using a potty training watch, following the 10-minute rule, or simply staying calm during accidents, these tips can make a world of difference. Remember, patience is key, and you’re doing great! Keep at it, and soon enough, your little one will be a potty-trained whiz!
